quarta-feira, 21 de julho de 2010

babylon can't translate me today

Of course it hurts me, how could you consider that it wouldn’t? You should already know that I’m easily hurtable.
But you don’t. Some how, I always knew that, it’s just hard to believe, maybe. To believe that you choose to not known me.
I’m sitting here, like a kid, waiting for you, begging for you, needing you. And you just choose to not come. Cuz’ I know
I know, that some how you can hear me.
You can feel it; you can feel the pain inside my chest.
But you do have a choice.
And do did choose to not come.
All I always waited for, as for you to come,
All I always needed was your hand, cuddling me.
And you never came.
I feel so alone, and you’re the only one that could make this loneliness go away.
You said, I remember your voice saying those words. I remember, cu’z I knew that picturing that moment in my mind, would be the only way to make it last forever. I remember you, saying that you loved me. You did it, I remember.
I do.
I remember it every day, every single day.
I also remember that you always attempted to teach me, that people’s actions say more that their words, and, there’s a long, long time that your actions don’t say I love you, but I just cant believe than.
Your actions actually say go away, stay away so nobody will get hurt.
How come? If, I do?
Staying away from you hurts me, even more than everything you already did to hurt me.
I can’t remember your voice, or your perfume, or what you did to hurt me.
I just cant.
People say that you have changed, that you’re not the one that you used to be, that you’re not the one that I remember, that you’re not you. To me, it doesn’t matter, cu’z no matter how you are right now, no matter what you did that bruised me so badly, no matter who you changed yourself to, I don’t know either of you anymore, and now, the only thing in the hole world that breaks my heart, is that none of you is with me, the one that you used to be, the one I remember, the one you turned yourself to, or just you. None of you are here.
Because some people can have a choice, right?
I don’t.
And you did, choose somebody else over me. It’s so typical, you, are the one so typical.
Maybe that’s why people choose anything, anybody over me. I’m not typical, and, people like you just can’t stand for this, right?
And, above all, all, you wanna know what hurt’s me the most?
Is that I don’t know if this words are addressed for you, or for my mother.
Cu’z, you both did it.
You both left me waiting.
You both choose somebody else over me.
You both said I love you, but, both of you couldn’t perform like you did.
The love of my life,
My mother,
I don’t know how I let it happens, when I started to let people perform the same speech, why hurting me by choosing somebody else, the two of you.
Of course I cry.
That’s the thing I do. You should know me better. If you know strongest way to punch me, you should know how I react to it.

Um comentário:

Carolina Filipaki disse...

Sometimes I have to write in English too... I don't know why, it seems like that it's the only language that can really express what I'm feeling. Or maybe I'm just afraid of really feel what I do, 'cause sometimes in English it doesn't seem so real...
It hurts. It's been hurting inside me too, and I'm not brave enough to say it in Portuguese!